When Everybody Loves You

Safe Word

Fri, 24 May 2013 03:31:59 -0400

Just like Mr. Floyd
I can feel one of my “turns” coming on.
It boils. It seethes.
It corrodes and it bleeds like a
Burning sensation that strikes
In the brain and attacks
The vitals of mankind’s true face.

Turn the photographs.
I don’t want you to see this.
Turn the photographs.
I don’t want to see you.

I beg. I plead.
I sow and I reap.
I show you the side I don’t want
The devil to see.
I burn off my flesh as
I yearn for the flesh
And I pierce my own chest
Because I long for the pain.
Some like to be hit but I
Get off on heartache.

So this is me
Take it or leave it.
Take it and leave me.
You take and I’ll leave.

Tomorrow
Please accept my sincerest apologies.

I did something I never thought I’d do: I wrote a “dirty” song. But if you think this song is only about sex, then you might want to read it again. I’m actually rather proud of this one; I’d been trying to find the words for this for quite some time, but they were nowhere to be found. After doing some brief exercises, this came to me. I’m eager to hear what kind of music my bandmates are working on so, hopefully, this cheery little number can find a home soon.

This was the best show of my childhood. I get bummed out every...

Fri, 24 May 2013 01:28:51 -0400

This was the best show of my childhood. I get bummed out every time someone says they don’t remember The Adventures of Pete & Pete.

blondesquats: I can tell who’s ass this is from a mile away...

Thu, 23 May 2013 23:01:42 -0400

blondesquats:

I can tell who’s ass this is from a mile away tybg

I don’t ever reblog “adult” material, but this is simply a work of art. This is the Venus de Milo of rear ends, the Sgt. Pepper of poopers, a majestic sculpt unworthy of human viewing yet bestowed upon mere mortals to remind us of the sheer power the Gods hold over their lowly servants.

Everyone I Know is Getting Married, Having Kids, or Finding Adult Jobs

Thu, 23 May 2013 17:06:41 -0400

and I’m accidentally pooping myself while eating lunch.

apocketsizedperson: initialsckn5b: fackingmoarkewkies: fucking...

Wed, 22 May 2013 04:39:23 -0400

apocketsizedperson:

initialsckn5b:

fackingmoarkewkies:

fuckingrecipes:

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER.

GET SOME FRUIT.

BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT.

BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.

PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES.

NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER.

YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE?

TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.

I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER.

FUCK.

WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’

IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT.

NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE.

TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.

Calm down, Karkat

this was strangely motivating…

^^ it really was though. Tomorrow=grapes in the freezer

This is the most important thing I will read this week.
(Except maybe Green Lantern #20 tomorrow)

Gemini

Wed, 22 May 2013 04:12:00 -0400

Our conversations are nothing more than filler
Like the songs you skip
To hear the hits on
Some mediocre record
Or the transition scenes
Between key plot beats
In an easily-forgotten movie.

Our blood is the same
And we share a surname
But I suppose that’s all I know.
So it goes.

We were strangers in bunk beds
And strangers in the same house
Then strangers in the same school.
Now we’re just strangers.

If I could go back
And change it
I want you to know I would.

This is my 1,000th post on my Tumblr. Perhaps it’s odd, but I’m sentimental about certain things such as numerical quantifiers that seem to imply the passing of a milestone. I wanted my 1,000th post to be more than a simple reblog, so, instead, I typed up a song I’ve been working on for the next batch of Perfect People material.

The song, as you can see by the bold text at the top, is called “Gemini”. This is fitting on two levels. First, Gemini as an astrological sign is often a depiction of brothers, and I don’t think it’s too difficult to decipher that this song is about my own brother, who happens to be a Gemini on the Zodiac; now you can see how the title fits on a more personal level.

I know two things about my older brother: I know that we’re siblings, and I know that I love him very much. But other than that, I know little about who he is as a person despite having lived with him most of my life. It’s so heartbreaking to me to think I’ve gotten to this point where I feel awkward speaking to someone with whom I should be closer than anyone. I wish I could change that.

I am forever jealous of anyone who is friends with his/her siblings.

gamefreaksnz: Batgirl available today as a DLC character in...

Wed, 22 May 2013 03:13:00 -0400

gamefreaksnz:

Batgirl available today as a DLC character in Injustice: Gods Among Us

Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment today is releasing Batgirl as a DLC character for the DC Comics fighting game Injustice: Gods Among Us.

My nerd rage compels me to comment on the fact that they used a cover to Bryan Q. Miller’s Batgirl starring Stephanie Brown as the titular character, which doesn’t really make much sense considering the Batgirl DLC is most definitely Barbara Gordon.

Carry on, folks; but someone had to say it.

I saw this image on Reddit a couple weeks ago, but I forgot that...

Wed, 22 May 2013 02:06:55 -0400

I saw this image on Reddit a couple weeks ago, but I forgot that I meant to place it here.

micahtkelleher: bosxe: sueting: electroego: and they say gay...

Tue, 21 May 2013 15:50:43 -0400

micahtkelleher:

bosxe:

sueting:

electroego:

and they say gay marriage is unnatural

i’m screaming so hard right now ^

“A whole raw potato”

If your religious beliefs are making you miserable you are doing it wrong… I give it a year before the dude comes out of the closet… and I bet he will still eat raw potatoes

This is from a satirical news site. No one in his right mind would choose a whole raw potato over whoopie.

Hint #1: IT'S ME. YA BOY JAMES. SUCK IT.

Tue, 21 May 2013 14:49:41 -0400

B-b-but..

I don’t want to play with a James butt.

I'll give you hints to guess my identity. If you can guess who I am, I'll let you play with my butt.

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:26:03 -0400

This is like some Edward Nigma, Riddler stuff.

Next to Michael, Andy was the accidentally-deepest thinker of...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:38:32 -0400

Next to Michael, Andy was the accidentally-deepest thinker of The Office. He really grew on me in the last few seasons. Toby was always my favorite, but Andy deserves a spot near the top.

I wish you could play with my butt.

Mon, 20 May 2013 01:54:59 -0400

i’ve been waiting for someone to say this to me my entire life.

(please don’t be a guy.)

(not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

acooldeath: Black Flag - Nervous Breakdown

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:14:15 -0400

acooldeath:

Black Flag - Nervous Breakdown

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Wed, 15 May 2013 05:08:41 -0400

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I found this cool photo of Joel snapping some dude’s neck...

Wed, 15 May 2013 04:41:40 -0400

I found this cool photo of Joel snapping some dude’s neck at C2E2.

90% of the time

Wed, 15 May 2013 03:37:08 -0400

I really wish I weren’t most of the things that I am. I have a lot of insecurities that are starting to come out, and it’s really beginning to take a toll on me.

This is my life now: sitting on a bag of frozen Pizza Rolls...

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:07:53 -0400

This is my life now: sitting on a bag of frozen Pizza Rolls because I can’t get any ice at work. This makes the pain subside for a while.

seinfeldtv: The Seinfeld finale aired 15 years ago today. Read...

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:25:58 -0400

seinfeldtv:

The Seinfeld finale aired 15 years ago today. Read Rolling Stone’s 1998 cover story on the filming of that final show http://rol.st/10W2yf9

Mmm, dicks is numnums.

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:15:50 -0400

That’s exactly what my urologist said when I dropped my shorts!